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Joke of the Day

"Watson was incredibly horny.... Watson was incredibly horny and had a fetish for intelligence. So he tells Sherlock this joke and ""blows"" his mind."

"Dating tip: surprise your date by being a giraffe"

"[Confessional Booth] Me: I can't do anything right. Priest: Please get off of my lap."

"My girlfriend didn't like my penis at first... ... but then it grew on her."

"Mumford and Sons next album is just going to be someone rubbing an antique burlap sack against a microphone for an hour."

"They should punish kids who do well in school with more homework to prepare them for what happens to people who are efficient at their jobs."

"fur coat daughter tells mom who wears a fur coat daughter: did you know that your fur coat is a result of suffering of an animal? mom: you shouldn't talk about your dad that way"

"How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten-tickles! Courtesy of Ben Morehead of the Goulet Pen team."

"Me: ""I'm so lonely."" Microscopic organism: ""Wow, I'm right here."""

"I asked my chemist friend if it took him 4 years to get his degree... He said ""Sodium Bromate."""