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Joke of the Day

"what did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but saran wrap? I can clearly see you're nuts!"

"Another International Ninja Day went completely unnoticed."

"After reading some marriage tweets I'm beginning to suspect we all may have been married to the same person."

"[dj voice] ""What's up Dad Party!"" *dads go nuts* ""I wanna know, IS IT GETTING HOT IN HERE?!?"" [dads in unison] DON'T TOUCH THE THERMOSTAT"

"On toilet in a stall playin TigerWoods on phone.eagled a par5.Crowd cheered.Pretty sure guy in the next stall thought I just took epic dump"

"What does a tornado and a black person have in common? It only takes one to ruin a good neighbourhood!"

"Nothing makes a friendship more awkward than saying ""Cute doggie"" and realizing it's their kid"

"Q: IS IT SEXUAL HARASMENT IF YOU GO TO A WOMAN AND TELL HER HER HAIR SMELLS NICE? A: WHAT IF THE MAN IS A DWARF?"

"What did Mr.T say when he saw a fat lady at the bar? I pity the stool!"

"i named my first son ""christian"" and i named his twin brother ""born-again christian"""