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Joke of the Day
"Knock Knock Who's there? Allah Allah Who? ALLAHU ACKBAR!!!! *explosions*"
Next Joke
"No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who just gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch"
"My first time riding a bike was like my first time having sex Both times my dad helped me from behind"
"Did you hear the one about the sidewalk? It's all over town!"
"My car was making this annoying sound . . . . . . so I went to see a mechanic. Me: My car is making an annoying sound. Mechanic: Easy fix. Reach over. Open the door. And push her out."
"An argument with my wife is like the gas pedal on a Prius. I can put my foot down, but I don't really expect much to happen..."
"There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that know binary and those that don't."
"Why should you never trust an atom? They make up everything"
"Theft solution: Tits. Nobody is thinking about larceny when they're looking at tits. So ladies, help stop crime... show us your tits."
"Judge: how do you plead? Me: [looks at lawyer] Lawyer: [mouths ""not guilty""] Me: hot milky L: *bangs head on desk* FFS just lock him up"