223305

Joke of the Day

"I invented a sport called Mexican football You take a Mexican and kick him over a wall."

"I say I want a gf but I don't even know what I'd do with one. Do you just kiss her and leave her alone in a corner? How often does it eat?"

"I got a new job circumcizing elephants The pay isn't great but the tips are enormous"

"I'm all out of damns to give, and only have a few flying f*cks left... but I'm saving those for a special occasion."

"Has anyone here seen the Matthew McConaughey movie where he keeps getting grouchy in the early evenings and no one can figure out why...? Failure to Lunch?"

"The guy installing the new security system said we should upgrade because of the increasing crime rate. Typical alarmist."

"what did the prostitutes knee say to the other one? nothing, they have never met!"

"Toronto Police have found a head, hands, and a foot in a river. There are no theories yet but the hokey pokey has not been ruled out."

"The Westboro Babtist Church is planning to picket Reddit two days after their IAmA. No, seriously. http://www.godhatesfags.com/schedule.html"

"Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed."