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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference ? What's the difference between getting your girlfriend pregnant and asking how her day went? There is no difference, you always regret both!"

"You know you're an optimist... ...when your blood type is B+"

"Boss: I suspect one of you is dead [Everyone looks at me, except for Paul, who is not moving at all]"

"What do you call something that is long hard and full of semen? A Submarine."

"Programming is like sex One mistake and you're providing support for a lifetime."

"Why were there no black people in the Flintstones? Because they were still considered monkeys."

"Need expensive surgery? Tell a surgeon you're auditioning a few before picking one. Have them do the surgery then say ""OK I'll let you know"""

"My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy. So, I got drunk."

"Why did the 3 year old go to jail? For resisting a rest."

"[Being murdered at Walmart] Please will you dump my dead body at Target people can't know I shopped here"