18004

Joke of the Day

"my boss is asking how I'm feeling today how do I explain that I've done about 20 grams of animal tranquilizer within 5 days"

"""haha one time we turned a cpr training dummy into a bong"" yes doctor but how is our son *leans in close* ""you had to light its weiner"""

"My dog licked the crumbs out of my computer keyboard & earned an online college degree."

"most recent posts on this sub Knock knock Who's there? /r/jokes /r/jokes who? Hahahahahaha!!!! it's an inside joke"

"Why arent there any Socialist entrepreneurs? Seriously I dont know....."

"What word that starts with an ""N"" and ends with an ""R"" would you never want to call a black person Neighbor"

"How does an Apple Watch owner know that it's midday? It's already run out of battery."

"[interview] My biggest weakness is that I'm too literal ""That's fine. Your resume looks good, welcome aboard!"" *turns to whiteboard* welcome"

"If I had known I was going to have this much shit to do at work today I wouldn't have come in sober"

"Domestic violance in progress. When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on."