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Joke of the Day

"He said I won his heart and I was all ""Ugh can I just win like $20? How about a sweater from Sears? A pencil? I could really use a pencil."""

"I patented a new bullet that will kill 2 deer at once You get more buck for your bang!"

"What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common? They both love cracking open a cold one!"

"So a guy walks into a punchline... The punchline-tender says, ""Why the dumb joke?"""

"Why did the dick go to 7-11? Q: Why did the dick go to 7-11? A: To get a Slurpee."

"If opposites truly attract, the correct life strategy is to be a loser"

"Why did the chick disappoint his mother ? He wasn't what he was cracked up to be !"

"Cop: Know why I stopped u? ""Cuz im going too fast?"" Cop: Yes, slow down. ""But it's been 6 months-"" Cop: U can't move in with her yet."

"The gal in front of me on this flight didn't enjoy me stroking her forehead after she reclined into my lap. Thought we were having a moment."

"Ads can get you laid Cuz when I turned on Ad blocker, all the women in my area who were interested in me suddenly disappeared."