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Joke of the Day

"I think my nephew finally figured out that there's no chameleon in this cage & that his Xmas present is a cage."

"My problem with McDonalds is I can't go retrieve my kids in the play tubes because I can't fit in the play tubes because I eat at McDonalds."

"Saved my gall bladder in a jar so when they ask me at the DMV if I want to be an organ donor, I can put it on the counter and say, ""YES!"""

"Overheard a teenager watching Armageddon for the 1st time (after Bruce Willis blows up): ""lol at least the hot one lived (Ben Affleck)."""

"Open heart surgery? No, just rip it out."

"Just saw a pensioner do a tribute to the England team. Yep she got off the bus look abit confused and then got back on went home."

"A man got a vasectomy without telling his wife. When she found out she said ""ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"" ""Yes, I'm not kidding you."" he said."

"OMFG there is a horse in the corridor! Then my wife must still be in the manege."

"The doctors rushed quickly to remove the bullet which was lodged in his artery... But it turns out it was all in vain"

"Who is an archaeologist? One whose career is in ruins."