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Joke of the Day

"*discretely picks a booger* *slyly wipes it on her blouse* Funeral Director: Sir, we can see you and narrating it just makes it worse."

"How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Put a plunger in the toilet"

"My son was crying and asked, ""why doesn't the dog have to wear pants?"" And it's like, I don't even know. So now I'm putting pants on a dog."

"Sex Ed in 2015"

"Is the age of consent for dogs 18 or 2.572?? (Need to know ASAP)"

"What do you call a rich frog ? A golf blooded reptile !"

"I thought I found my soul mate for a minute there, but he was just a pervert on the internet. *runs after him"

"Why does a squirrel swim on its back? To keep its nuts dry."

"How do I know you're getting laid tonight I'm stronger than you"

"Two rules I live by #1 Never Take No for an Answer #2 No means No"