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Joke of the Day

"My son was crying and asked, ""why doesn't the dog have to wear pants?"" And it's like, I don't even know. So now I'm putting pants on a dog."

"what do you get when you call a subreddit ""jokes"" and have more than 21 000 readers? an average of 22 jokes a day. this is a fucking joke"

"What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft? A-flat minor."

"My attractive feature is that sometimes I go away."

"What is it called when Benedict Cumberbatch is constipated? No shit Sherlock."

"I am looking forward to 6pm Thanksgiving Day when Walmart opens its doors for its annual sale of trampled human corpses."

"I've upped my game so now instead of buying women at the bar drinks I buy them a pony"

"Someone called me ma'am today and all of my books turned to large print!"

"A Thanksgiving Joke What did the turkey say about the television program from the 1950s? There's a little bit too much grayvy."

"Why was the man selling CDs at 12:30 a.m.? Because his mixtape was to die for..."