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Joke of the Day

"Guy behind me in line at the gas station was standing close enough to reenact the pottery scene from ghost."

"A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. ""Ha! That's not going to help,"" she said. ""Sure, it does,"" he said. ""It's the only way I can see the numbers."""

"Goldfish are the only pets with the decency to die just as the novelty wears off."

"How do farmers find their sheep in tall grass? Very satisfying!!"

"I don't mean to brag but I've perfected the confused look whenever my credit cards get declined"

"Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing a chicken."

"what's the best part of... Having sex with a transvestite? Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through."

"Did you hear about the soldier with 8 limbs? He was army"

"When the professor starts off the semester asking ""Why are you here?"" So I can get a job."

"Billion dollar idea: Meth with Flouride"