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Joke of the Day

"Goldfish are the only pets with the decency to die just as the novelty wears off."

"Telling my daughter garlic is good for you. Good immune system and keeps pests away.Ticks, mosquitos, vampires... men."

"Oh, Ed! They should come up with something like Uber, but with horseback riding... Maybe call it Wilbur?"

"I can't even imagine how low the self esteem of fat, white women would be if skinny, black guys didn't exist."

"Mexican Magician The Mexican Magician says ""I will disappear at the count of three. Uno, dos..."" *POOF* And just like that, he disappeared without a tres."

"Why do zombies all have such shitty clothes?! It's like you JUST died, how did you mess up your shirt that bad"

"Intensive care toddler One of the toddlers on the Intensive Care Unit is playing with a toy donkey. ICU baby, shaking that ass..."

"Joke from my grandpa I once met a girl who had a boob on her back. She wasn't much to look at, but she sure was fun to dance with!"

"God: I need an Ark built. *Jesus lowers sunglasses* Jesus: I Noah guy."

"What do you say we make this a Not-so-Silent Night?"