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Joke of the Day

"What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year? It's a fugazi."

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"[Girl from Willy Wonka turns into a blueberry] Wonka: Call in The Blue Man Group! [Blue Man Group rolls her out while singing Eiffle 65]"
"What do you call a persnickety con artist walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending."
"Wanna play guns? Bend over and I'll cock you."
"How do you blind fold an asian? You put floss over their eyes!"
"So a priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar. The bartender looks up, hesitates, and says, ""What is this, some kind of fucking joke?!"""
"What do you call a bisexual vietnamese person? **Bi**ngo."
"This joke came to me while waiting on my iphone repair at the Apple store.. What do people at the Genius Bar drink from? -Einsteins"
"Some things you recycle, some you throw away. For example: Paper & plastic you recycle. Opportunities, love and your future you throw away."
"it's true My wife says not everybody pees in the shower. I need yall's help proving her wrong. Rate: Pees in shower and proud of it! Comment: Uh, no! What is wrong with you?!"