179572

Joke of the Day

"I had a dream that I was fighting Jason Bourne, Will Hunting and Tom Ripley Thanks to months of therapy, I'm finally battling my Damons."

"My brother's on a seafood diet. Really? Yes the more he sees food the more he eats."

"iPhone 7 Plus Bend Test ..lol! iPhone 7 Plus Bend Test Funny with suspense :p https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70V57UBIt7o great music though lol.."

"Him: So what are you into? Me: *thinking of the newspaper cutouts of Justin Trudeau all over my bedroom walls and ceiling* Politics."

"I'm pretty sure these people at the next table are talking about how paranoid I am."

"What is yellow and goes click-click? A ball-point banana. Witch: Will I lose my looks as I get older? Wizard: With luck yes. Witch:"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To say Hello from the other side."

"*wakes up early on weekend *makes 12 pancakes *wakes kids up ""Daddy, can we have waffles today???"" *eats 12 pancakes"

"It's been a big year for my ten-year-old. Two months ago, he attended his first confession.... .... It took the cops four hours to break him. He's got some willpower, that kid!"

"Me: Honey, are you awake? [wife rustles] Hmmm? Me: When we were fighting & you said ""Wolverine's powers suck,"" did you really mean that"