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Joke of the Day

"The reason why I only date black girls is because I don't like meeting dads."

"If some last names were an ancestor's profession (Baker, Cobbler) How do you explain Dickinson?"

"Aloe Vera!... me talking to the plants. With a Cockney accent."

"Before the Internet, I guess I just assumed all my friends knew how to spell ""definitely."""

"I like my women how i like my coffee Without a penis"

"A cabbage, a faucet, and a tomato had a race. The cabbage was ahead, the faucet was running, and the tomato tried to catch up."

"I'm going to start a comedy club in Africa... I'm going to call it ""Lafrica"""

"Yesterday I tried to loosen a rusty lug nut... But it didn't turn out."

"[police station] ""sir you get one phone call."" [calls 911] ""hello 911 what's your emergency?"" yeah a bunch of pricks are holding me hostage."

"What do you get when you hire an owl to babysit your kids? A real hootenanny!"