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Joke of the Day
"Yesterday I tried to loosen a rusty lug nut... But it didn't turn out."
Next Joke
"When a woman has to pick one of three men: a smart one, a cute one or a rich one. She always chooses the asshole."
"I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid of ending up in a nursing home with a roommate who has Justin Bieber posters and Twilight shirts."
"Talking about planets with my nephew. He asked if you could Plow thru Uranus because it's all gas"
"Homeless man: Change please Me: sorry dude I don't have any money on me Homeless man: No, change...That outfit is hideous"
"What did the doctor say to the prosecutor? You're trying my patients!"
"If you believe in God, yet you can't believe it's not butter, then your faith needs to get its damn priorities straight."
"I woke my wife one night and said ""The force is awakening."" She replied, ""Not tonight Hand Solo."""
"Your mama is so: need some material.."
"Just had too much fun with a woman who lost her son named ""Marco"" in the supermarket just now."