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Joke of the Day

"What happensto nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes daytrogen ^I'msorry"

"Guys Trip to Vegas My wife asked me after our guys trip to Vegas if I had thought of her while I was there. Apparently, ""only to keep from coming too soon"" was not a very good answer."

"*put cooked chicken in oven* *offer to cook date dinner* *put raw chicken in oven* *immediately pull out cooked chicken* *keep eye contact*"

"My car broke down today. It confessed to a series of hit-and-run murders back in 2006."

"""Dont put all your eggs in one basket,"" is a lie perpetuated by Big Basket to sell more baskets"

"Is this the Alcoholics helpline? Operator: ""Yes."" Caller: ""Can you tell me how to make Sangria?"""

"What do you call a special needs kid who is late for class? ""tardy"""

"How many MRAs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Trick question, MRAs never get to screw anything."

"What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes *whack!* ""Fuck!"" A skydiver goes ""Fuck!"" *whack!*"

"Then there was the noodle who wanted all his life to be an M... but when he finally got his wish, no one believed him cause he was an M pasta..."