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Joke of the Day
"Why is an executioner a terrible high-fiver? He always leaves you hanging"
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"What do you call it when a gorilla takes martial arts lessons? Kong-fu"
"American A man from Israel got his citizenship, I guess you could say he Israeli American now"
"What is the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef."
"I hate when Netflix asks if I'm still watching. You really think I got my life together in the last 2 hours?"
"You can't spell dad without a"
"I take all of my relationship advice from Animal Planet."
"I usually turn down the volume on my car radio when searching for an address, as if the house will shout out to me as I approach."
"[I time travel and bring back Shakespeare] SHAKESPEARE: What's this? ME: That's a meme SHAKESPEARE: What the hell is wrong with you people"
"My all time favorite lawyer joke. Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW full of lawyers? A: The porcupine has the pricks on the outside."