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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I put toilet paper... Sometimes I put toilet paper over my penis, and pretend that it's a ghost."

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"Everyone keeps downvoting my racist jokes. It's like a load of black people have suddenly gotten laptops or something."
"You can't be anti-abortion AND pro-death penalty AND a unicorn."
"Why do black people only have nightmares? Because we shot the last one who had a dream."
"I wish labor day was 9 months after spring break"
"George Michael has been accused of organ trafficking It turns out Last Christmas, someone gave him their heart"
"THEM: Hey, I haven't seen you for a while. ME: As planned."
"What do you call fast midget house cleaners? Minute maids."
"Why are Boy Scouts safest when travelling with a senior? They'll always have dry wood on hand to start a fire - this came to me in a dream... maybe it should have stayed there? *shrugs*"
"[dinner party] mario: what's in this risotto? me: mushroom, you're not allergic? mario: *grows to like 20 feet*"
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