199350

Joke of the Day

"[dinner party] mario: what's in this risotto? me: mushroom, you're not allergic? mario: *grows to like 20 feet*"

"When Mr Maxwell's wife left him he couldn't sleep. Why was that? She had taken the bed."

"The story of a heroic husband .... Wife to her husband - How do I look? I just came back from the beauty salon.... Husband - Well. Was it closed?"

"All the world's a stage And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time has many farts."

"What did the Indian woman say during sex? Please cum again!"

"What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year-old child? Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!"

"That awkward moment when you're scuba diving and you see adele rolling in the deep."

"You can lead a horse to water and if he walks on it congratulations you found horse jesus."

"What's Donald Trump's favorite drink? A White Russian. I'm so sorry."

"And so the devil decided to put the delete key above the send key. The end"