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Joke of the Day

"When I worked at a pickle factory, I stuck my penis inside of a pickle slicer... They ended up firing both of us."

"Mom says to Dad: ""I've found a BDSM magazine under our son's bed. What are we supposed to do about it?"" Dad replies: ""I don't know honey, but I think, hitting him would be very wrong."""

"What do you call a half-length lightsabre? A slightsabre"

"You say kidnapping. I say surprise adoption. Tomato, Tomahto Get in the van."

"What usually comes after the monster lights the birthday candles? The fire department."

"I could never be gay I just can't have sex with someone I respect"

"The saddest thing about trying to find a needle in a haystack is that your horse is hiding a drug habit from you."

"There's no attraction quite as strong as tomato sauce & a white shirt"

"Why do bachelors like smart women? Because they're so rare."

"Why did Tiger Woods get divorced? Because Tiger was a lion cheetah!"