179293

Joke of the Day

"I asked my friend if he could tell me the chemical symbol for Neptunium He said it wasn't a problem but hasn't replied since"

"Difference between GF & WIFE Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? A: 45 lbs. Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? A: 45 minutes."

"Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work because the dog just goes ""Cool, now we're both barking!"""

"I saw an Asian man jerking off in a starbucks Called him a Fappenchino."

"Why did the mom cry as her baby Richard became older? Her little Dick was growing."

"What is crucial to any joke about ISIS? The execution"

"What is Sherlock's favorite season? Fall..."

"So quick to claim someone on your taxes yet so slow to make them a snack."

"What is a Mexican with a rubber toe called Roberto"

"*white girls at restaurant* *orders 5 course meal* *posts pictures of food onto Instagram* ""Check! We're done here"" *leaves without eating*"