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Joke of the Day

"A man was apprehended for public masturbation but ultimately let go because he only did it for 10 seconds... Ya, he definitely got off easy."

"MADOKA MAGICA SPOILERS Why did Tomoe Mami die? She got ahead of herself."

"What is Sean Connery's favorite dish? A seizure salad."

"I was flattered that our mailman calls me ""Sunshine"" until I overheard him call my neighbor, the double amputee, ""Speedy."""

"Why do they call chicken wings, chicken wings? Cuz they go flyin' out of your butt after you eat them!"

"What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers."

"What's the difference between a German and a Scot? The German knows when he's not speaking English."

"men: women are very hard to read women: actually, we just want- men: such complex creatures women: if u just liste- men: so mysterious"

"A duck walks into a store and says, ""Give me some fucking Chapstick."" The clerk says, ""Alright, settle down you feathered cunt... How are you going to pay for that?"" ""Oh, just put it on my bill."""

"What do light and hard have in common? You can sleep with a light on."