179186

Joke of the Day

"What does picking your nose and masturbating have in common? It feels fuckin awesome but when you get caught its awkward as hell."

"""911"" you gotta help, my wife is in labour in the backseat ""how far apart are the contractions?"" about 2 miles but I'm driving pretty fast"

"How many Sayians does it take to change a light bulb? One. But it'll take 3 episodes, and Krillin dies."

"With Parkinsons... Every weight is shake weight!"

"What did the leper say to the hooker? You can keep the tip."

"What do you call a horse that has been kicked out of his house? Unstable"

"A doctor amputated a hand on a patient and the doctor said to the patient ""on the other hand... you aren't disabled"""

"How many nuns were at the library? Absolutely nun"

"Why don't black people get sunburns? Prisons are indoors. *(sorry black redditors)*"

"Old Finnish Saying Do you know what's wrong with a Russian ass buzzer? It doesn't fit in your ass and it doesn't buzz."