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Joke of the Day

"My kids can't hear the dog barking for 15mins to come back inside but they can hear me bite into a Pop-Tart from 3 counties away."

"What do you call hiring German engineers to work on your overseas project? Krautsourcing"

"I take my coffee how I take my women... ground up and in the freezer."

"Imagine a sister store to Cold Stone Creamery where you can buy a bucket of mashed potatoes with ""mix-ins."" Hot Mash Potatery"

"What do you call a blonde standing between two brunettes? A mental block!"

"SO SPEAKETH THE OUIJA BOARD, ""N E W N U M B E R W H O I S T H I S"""

"What is the similarity between an airplane and a woman? The cockpit"

"My friend's name is Jesus. So if I go driving with him, can Jesus literally take the wheel?"

"As a young child my mom told me I could be anything I wanted to be. It turns out that the police call this identity theft."

"Two cows and a cat were going on a trip. Cow A: Do we go this way with the cat? Cow B: The cattle go this way, we shall go the udder way."