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Joke of the Day

"Fun Fact: You can be charged with home invasion and aggravated assault if you use a box cutter to break down cardboard and a hobo's inside."

"Someone tweeted today that they were ""29-ish"" and I didn't know you could ""ish"" 15 years."

"What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol? My record is 21 years."

"How do you stop a ginger from drowning? You throw him a lifesaver and tell him to grab on to it."

"Bad credit? No credit? First time buyer? First time baby? No legs? 8 legs? You a spider? Are you a Spider trying to buy a house?"

"A man clicks on a post in /r/jokes... I'm watching you."

"What is cleverer than a talking cat ? A spelling bee !"

"evrytime i go to the zoo, i break down in front of the bird exhibits & shout HOW DID THEY CATCH YOU. U CAN FLY. HOW DID U LET THEM CATCH YOU"

"Every motorcycle cop is a liquid terminator until proven otherwise."

"What does mosquito say when its parents die? shhhhhh.....it !!"