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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it had no Guts."

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"It's black, and when it falls out of a tree your piano breaks. Your piano."
"I like my coffee like I like my slaves free"
"What's green, slimey and smells like pork? Kermit's finger."
"Why did Lebron leave Miami? Because he just couldn't stand the heat"
"Accidentally walked into the women's bathroom, went ahead and peed sitting down so it wouldn't be awkward for anyone."
"I can fake my way through most conversations with my kids if I just look up from my phone every time they stop talking and say ""no."""
"What kind of a fish does your Parrot sit on? A Perch!"
"What did the termite eat for dinner? A table for two."
"Why did Samsung call it the Galaxy Note 7? Because ""Kindle"" was taken."