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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a new gym opening up in the finance district Capital Gains"

"Good cop: we found her body in the river Cop who doesn't want people knowing he can't swim: I was sick that day otherwise I'd have found it"

"While a gun does make for a cool weapon on The Walking Dead, the most effective defense against the zombies is probably lightly jogging?"

"The Suicide Bomber Teacher said to his student... ""Come here and listen closely, I'm only gonna show you this once""..."

"Weird Joke Q: Why did Godcreate man before woman?A: He needed a rough draft before he made a final copy."

"BRAIN: it's 4am u up? ME: leave me alone B: who was our grade 5 teacher? M: stop B: why's our eye itchy? M: I'm ignoring u B: engage bladder"

"Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened."

"Sex makes my day But anal makes my hole weak"

"Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because his pecker is on his head"

"Apologies to Rudyard Kipling but . . . If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs. . . . maybe you don't understand the gravity of the situation."