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Joke of the Day

"A guy dressed as a Chicken for Halloween finds a girl dressed as an egg. Apparently the answer is Chicken. (Edit: Typo)"

"To Brie or not to Brie. That is the queso."

"There's one thing I've learned after my son got hit in the face with dog excrement. I'm rather good at golf."

"What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay to have a garbanzo bean on my face. credit to /u/crashdemon."

"Hitler favorite price? nein neinty nein!"

"How can you avoid falling hair? Get out of the way."

"""Have you tried sleeping? Okay. And you've had enough burritos lately? Hmm. Well, this is puzzling."" - me as a doctor"

"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if you crushed his spirit by telling him how worthless he was and deprived him of a good education?"

"Can someone just tell me which guy Bridget Jones ends up with? I keep killing myself before the end of the movie."

"What do balloons and virgins have in common? One prick and its gone."