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Joke of the Day

"Why is the oval office oval shaped? Because the government cuts corners."

"What makes a barbershop quartet sound so amazing? They're on the cutting edge of musical innovation."

"Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the one that had a dream got shot!"

"What do you call... What do you call an Italian romance novel model who's let himself go? Flabio."

"What do you call a promise you can't keep? A campaign promise."

"Not to brag, but I parallel parked without hitting anything, taking 15 mins, or winding up on the sidewalk. No cars were around, but still."

"Dogs. Because when everyone looks at you like you're crazy, they look at you like you're amazing."

"Why do vegetarian chefs type with their feet? Because they have great toe fu."

"[5:30AM] BRAIN: I'll just go to the bathroom, but keep my eyes closed so I don't wake up. BODY: I'll just clip my head on the door frame."

"I thought my friend was being serious when he was talking about rimjobs Turns out it was all tongue in cheek."