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Joke of the Day

"There sure are alot of the_Donald posts on the front page It sure makes me glad that 14 year olds can't vote."

"I went to the Zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a Shitzu"

"A giant lizard rebuilds Japan and the moonwalks into the sea. #ReverseAFilmPlot"

"Friend: Don't come on too strong is my dating tip. [At the restaurant] Her: Can you pass the salt, please? Me: Sorry, it's too heavy."

"Damn girl, is it just me, Or did I just damn you to hell for the sake of pick up line?"

"I walked up to a girl and said, ""Skittles, Starburst, Jelly Babies, Haribo, Wine Gums."" ""Erm...what?"" she asked. I said, ""I'm trying to sweet-talk you into dating me."""

"Muffins are just cupcakes that will never get laid."

"Meet Brian, my monkey butler. He's gonna help out around the office. *Monkey flinging office equipment out the window* Brian hates clutter."

"I have a UDP joke. I hope you get it."

"[news anchor] ""Up next, can more sex lead to a healthier & happier-"" *wife changes channel*"