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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the one about the batman midnight showing? I heard that people were really Fired up about it! too spoon?"

"If Eminem were a feminist... ...he would be called Feminem."

"Cop : ""Lets Do a drug test"" Me: ""Cool, which drugs are we testing?"""

"How can you tell Sofia Vergara's children on the playground? They're the ones with stretch marks on their lips."

"My ex-girlfriend once said ""It's either me or Twitter."" I wonder how she's doing."

"Apparently, Donald Trump is currently being treated for Electile dysfunction and premature congratulations. Isn't it Hillaryous!"

"Did you know that it's traditional to serve Eggs Benedict on a hubcap? There's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise."

"Woman on the Drive-Thru Speaker: Will there be anything else? Me: We just met."

"Three tomatoes are walking down the street... A papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. The baby tomato starts falling behind so the papa tomato squishes him and says, Ketchup!"

"What did the nihilist wish for on his birthday?"