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Joke of the Day

"""I'm giving a 'surprised' birthday party for you."" ""A 'surprised'. birthday party? What's that?"" ""That's where I invite a bunch of your friends and if any of them come I'll be surprised!"""

"A grasshopper walks into a bar... and the bartender says, ""Hey we have a drink named after you."" The grasshopper responds, ""You have a drink named Steve?"""

"Knock Knock Knock knock. Who's there? To. To who? To whom."

"I ll see myself out.. Did you know? You can buy a 2 pack of Eminem s for Fifty cent..... It s Ludacris"

"Movie idea: A drunk passes out next to Picasso. He wakes up to find a drawing of a dick on his face worth $1 million. Does he wash it off?"

"No officer the joke's on you. That breathalyzer will never tell you how much acid I dropped tonight."

"People on Tumblr have PTSD Potty Trained and Socially Disordered"

"I was at a store and I saw some yogurt in a big bag with a spout... I guess that you could say the yogurt was pour quality"

"What does James Bond say after a heavy workout? I would like to have Whey. Shaken, not stirred."

"*Mary Poppins voice* Ok, children! Time to go! [15 min later] *Batman voice* I said let's go."