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Joke of the Day
"I'm at the age where I need at least 3 weeks advance notice before doing anything spontaneous"
Next Joke
"Dear men, We love you until you forget to call or show up late or breathe the wrong way - women P.s you're reading this tweet wrong"
"My dad always told me that people that curse are too dumb to say anything else... and i was like ""what the fuck does that mean?"""
"Remember when Michael Jackson hung his baby off that balcony as a goof? He's dead now."
"Ever notice it's only ""stalking"" if the person doing the stalking is unattractive."
"pranking neighborhood teens by pulling my car into their driveway & putting a bow on it so they think their parents bought it for them"
"A son to his mother: Mum, I don't like grandma. The mother: Shut up, we eat what we have!"
"An e-mail confirming you've unsubscribed from a mailing list is a fun way of saying you're not having the last word in THIS argument, pal."
"Read aloud and quickly: ""One smart feller, he felt smart"" Freudian slip?"
"What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon? Tennish."