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Joke of the Day

"They're saying I put a stuffed animal in the toilet. Untrue. I sent it on a mission to retrieve my toy cars."

"Three elephants fell off a cliff. Two fell on land. One fell in the water. Boom-boom-chhh!"

"""Son do you know how to tell if a pineapple is ripe?"" *throws pineapple against grocery store wall* ""Ah nuts that was a good one."""

"My friend was frozen to absolute zero... He's pretty 0K with it."

"What's worse then ants in your pants? Uncles."

"You might as well shoot for the stars because... Best case scenario you succeed and are immediately vaporized into nothing. Worst case scenario you miss and fade into the endless void of nothing."

"What's the difference between a BMW and a cactus? on a cactus, the pricks are on the outside"

"You know which singer really cut the mustard? Celine Dijon"

"A friend asked me, Is there a black Greek god?.. Nike"

"I'm proud to be black, said the black man. I'm proud to be Asian, said the Asian man. I'm proud to be white, said the RACIST."