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Joke of the Day
"The EU is like a box of chocolates; Nobody likes the Turkish."
Next Joke
"Knock Knock ""Who's there?"" ""A police officer."" ""A police officer who?"" ""A police officer who just shot your dog, now open up if you don't want to end up like him!"""
"What do you call it again where you think of a tweet while you're offline so you have to say it out loud? Conversation?"
"My fav sci-fi this year is the Bank of America ad where the 30 year old dude with a new baby has $56k in his checking account."
"Q: Why did the mirror have 6 holes in it? A: A blonde tried to shoot herself!"
"When arguing, I let the other person speak first, then help them see my point by starting with, ""Now, what I'm about to say is correct"""
"When is the question also the answer? ""Who gives a fuck?"""
"OMG MOM SHUT UP IM TRYING TO SUMMON THE DARK LORD TO PLAY SCRABBLE YES I WANT A HAM OMELETTE"
"Chuck Norris can win a game of chess in only one move...... a roundhouse kick to the face."
"Okay, calm down. It's a spider. Just one tiny litt- HOLY MOLY IT MOVED!"