178224

Joke of the Day

"If Mature woman who likes young men is a Cougar. What is a Mature man who likes young women? An Inmate"

"I have never once hit a drink or treated one badly so don't tell me about alcohol abuse!"

"Shopping for insect repellent spray is so sexy.... I always get Off."

"Drink to remember. Drink to forget. Tweet while drinking, Wake up with regret."

"The Westboro Baptist Church is planning on picketing Fred Phelps funeral. I'm not sure they even know what they're doing anymore, you guys."

"It was actually the muslims who invented the C4 explosive... But it was the US:Army who later added a remote detonator."

"CASHIER: One ultrathin lubricated condom. That'll be $3.25 DUCK: Can you put it on my bill? CASHIER: That's not where it goes, silly"

"Yeah, did you hear about the really chatty snake gynecologist? Well, he was good at his job, but I just couldn't stand how he kept sticking his head in my business."

"My mum said I couldn't go out past 12. My teenage years are going to be very lonely."

"I gave 3 berries to my friend in a trail and got shot immediately... The sign never said they would shoot for trespassing!"