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Joke of the Day

"What do lawyers and sperm have in common? One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming human."

"I'll say it: fuck you, old people."

"My coworker and I have the same job title with the same number of years experience. He was pissed when he found out my salary was only a fraction his. Turns out that fraction is 2/1"

"Chuck Norris can clear 5 lines at once in tetris."

"I asked Santa for a new energy policy... ...but all I got in my stocking was a lump of coal. :-("

"How do you make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles"

"You're legally allowed to stab anyone whose favorite album is a band's Greatest Hits."

"What do you call an electronic bowl? Ebowla"

"What does your mom and a 4-stroke engine have in common? They're both usually busy doing one of the following: sucking, squeezing, banging, blowing."

"There are three types of people in this world... those who can count, and those who can't."