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Joke of the Day
"What's the worst single thing you could do to someone? Start dating them"
Next Joke
"*seductively feeding you chicken wings while you hit on a hot chick ""I'm sorry, I really don't know what a wingman is supposed to do."""
"Why does Saturday stink? Because it has a turd in it."
"*at waffle house* ""do you want bacon or sausage?"" 'YES'"
"What do gnomes fear most about Christmas? They're afraid Father Christmas will give them the sack!"
"When writing your calculus exam, make sure you don't sit between twins. Because you might not be able to differentiate between them."
"A little boy asked his father, ""Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"" Father replied, ""I don't know son, I'm still paying."
"Scientist: We've successfully taught a dog Morse code! Dog: [taps paw] Me: What did it say?? Scientist: ""Woof."""
"Farmer Dad: Having a good party son? Farmer Son: No. The music sucks. FD: Well then- FS: Don't. FD: Lettuce turnip the beet."
"If the rumors about Apple manufacturing a driverless car... Then I can't wait to drive into the middle of the Atlantic ocean!"