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Joke of the Day

"Hey man, 1980 called. It wants its--oh, can you hold on? I've got 1945 on the other line, and he's conferencing in 1973 so I should get this"

"What is black, heavy, and can't swim? A grand piano."

"Did you hear about the guy who invented Knock-Knock jokes? He won the no bell prize!"

"I don't always roll a joint... ...but when I do, it's an ankle."

"Chuck Norris doesn't believe in ravioli. He stuffs a live turtle with beef and smothers it in pig's blood."

"When do cops blow up and destroy shopping centers and Walmarts? During Black Friday."

"What do you call two skunks sixty-nining? Odor eaters."

"Guess why Because."

"How do you get a Jewish girl's number? Just check her arm"

"Nietzsche: God is dead God: Nietzsche is dead [they both turn to camera] THAT'S RIGHT, WE'RE DEAD SERIOUS ABOUT OUR MATTRESS PRICES"