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Joke of the Day

"My prison name If I ever went to prison, my prison name would be The Mitochondria, because I'll be the powerhouse of the cells."

"Since joining Twitter, about 8 aggressive lampposts have walked up to me in the street and punched me in the face."

"How do you eat a computer? byte by byte."

"What do you get when you cross a dog with an amplifier? A subwoofer."

"Why did the guy spend the entire day throwing out his surplus of herbs? He had too much thyme on his hands."

"What's the difference between David Lee Roth and Snoop Lion? David Lee Roth was in Van Halen Snoop Lion was in a van in halen"

"Took the sticker off a banana, put it on my shirt and said, ""I hereby deputize you to uphold the law in Bananatown!"" Elevator is silent now."

"What's a pirate's least favorite letter? U. Because U keep reposting this joke."

"Why does a Frenchman never eat more than one egg at breakfast? (for those linguistically aware Redditors among you) Because one egg is un oeuf"

"A couple are having sex... She is riding him like a bull, he's just staring at the ceiling, She yells:"" Say something dirty to me!"" He says : "" Kitchen"""