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Joke of the Day
"Why did Princess Dianna cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt."
Next Joke
"""Ah, OK. Yes. Now I see it."" -Me lying to someone who's pointing out a constellation"
"Thursday doesn't even count as a day, it's just the thing that's blocking Friday..."
"I went to see a Topless Ventriloquist last weekend. She was awesome. I didn't see her lips move once."
"What is the most prudent thing to do when someone is having an epileptic seizure in a hot tub? Throw in your laundry."
"Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? ... They're really good at it."
"Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they'd be baygulls"
"Why are the best accountants twins from Prague? Because they always double Czech their work!"
"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing, they're both stuck up cunts"
"Why was the tree soooo happy? Because he didn't arbor any feelings!"