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Joke of the Day
"What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the titanic? About half way."
Next Joke
"What happened when the girl dressed as a spoon left the Halloween party? No one moved. They couldn't stir without her."
"Some people's decisions are based in fear, others are based in beer."
"Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life."
"Me: God, I just feel so Brain: HUNGRY M: No, I'm very alone. I desperately want B: FOOD M: Part of me is missing. All I need is B: PRINGLES"
"I got a job with the Postal Service So I could tell people I'm a mail escort."
"Girlfriend pressuring you to have a baby? Set the alarm on her phone to an infant screaming. If that doesn't changer her mind..DUMP HER!"
"The guy who invented the velcro died last week RIP"
"I'm not looking for the woman who reads 50 Shades of Grey. I'm looking for the one that finds it boring."
"Got banned from bookstore AGAIN this weekend for moving ""CAUTION: WET FLOOR"" sign to the erotic aisle."