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Joke of the Day
"If I ever got into the plastic surgery business I would call my company ""Breast Buy""."
Next Joke
"I farted in a room of hipsters... and I watched them fight each other over who heard it first."
"Last time I had sex, it felt like the 100m Olympic final. There were 8 black men and a gun."
"Huh, this is a first Never had an ambulance follow me to the gym before They must know"
"Autocorrect changed ""stranger"" to ""strangler"" & it made me wonder how often I must have written about murdering people to teach it that."
"I'm not a fan of archery. It has too many drawbacks."
"[God creating the octopus] Idk, maybe make it look like the time I tried to cram the old pool noddles into a trash bag."
"Me and my girl on my birthday are like an organic compound with an aldehyde group Always ends in -anal"
"I bought my retarded son a Komodo dragon, but for safety reasons we keep him in his cage. Away from the Komodo dragon."
"Travel Agent: Hello sir! Interested in a vacation? Me: *puts cat on the phone* [20 mins later] Travel Agent: I've got you booked for Maui"