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Joke of the Day

"""Ways you would tell your mother you secretly have the hots for her."" -Family Freud"

"I used to have a fear for speed bumps... But I'm slowly getting over it. Edit: Why is this flaired as dirty?"

"How many Firefly fans does it take to change a light bulb? They wouldn't. They'd rather spend a decade bitching about how it went out."

"SCARY STORY! Once upon a time there was a little boy. He saw something strange, and, thinking about what he saw, he folded his arms... INTO PAPER AIRPLANES!"

"I'm convinced. Some peoples' brains are still on dial-up."

"What did the pig do when a beetle landed in his feed trough? He ate it quickly before the others could ask him to share."

"I have a bumper sticker that says ""Honk if you think I'm sexy!"" Then I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself!"

"Yo mama so fat, when she stands next to yo daddy they still in a long-distance relationship."

"GUYS! You'll never guess what I just did for a Klondike Bar! I took my wallet out of my back pocket and gave the cashier $1.29, plus tax."

"How did the little boy save the catholic priest's life? He found a lump on his testicle."