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Joke of the Day

"Can't afford those fancy water parks, so I just throw cups of water in my kids faces when they least expect it."

"What do you call those people who follow musicians around and try to hang with them after the show? Drummers."

"Made a meal out of an old recipe book today. Just tasted like paper really ."

"What is the opposite of Imagination? I have no idea."

"What's the difference between alcoholism and a lobotomy? I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."

"Man in the book store a man enters a bookstore and asks: do you have a book called "" men- king of the house"" gets a reply: No, we don't sell fairy tales here."

"I was at Redbox, but I didn't know what to watch. I consulted my groceries, and my pizza said, ""Keep Frozen."""

"Life is like huffing butane... first you huff the butane, then you die"

"Like a good neighbor State Farm and I haven't ever spoken."

"My wife is so weird She starts every conversation with *""were you even listening to me? ""*"