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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bad ass phone that doesn't work? Off the hook. (It's stupid but I did make it up)"

"So I heard, that after a long debate, they finally announced the hide and seek champion of 2014. 1st place went to Malaysia Airlines Flight 370!"

"If one door closes and another door opens, then probably your in a jail."

"I bet if I got one of those jumbo 16-slice toasters, people would finally take me seriously."

"Have you heard about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa!"

"I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies."

"Why did the Amish girl get kicked out of the community? Too Mennonite."

"I forget, on which side of my dinner plate am I supposed to set my phone?"

"I ask WebMD to diagnose the weird brown mole I just noticed. ""1. Is it delicious?"" ...Yes? ""2. Were you eating Easter candy in bed?"" ...Oh."

"What did little Suzy spy with her little eye? A cataract."