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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I think we are capable of great things as a species, but then I notice how many people can't put their shopping cart away."

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"Noah build an ark ""what? why"" I'm gunna flood the earth ""just give me fish powers"" [jealous he didn't think of that] JUST DO WHAT I SAY!"
"What do you call a gigolo donkey? Hee-Haw"
"INTERN 1: 6 in the Oval Office INTERN 2: 4 in the Roosevelt Room INTERN 3: 1 in the Lincoln Bedroom BIDEN: Okay, let's go catch some Pokemon"
"Without Women A world without women would be a pain in the ass."
"My 2 year old woke up. 5 minutes of ""Mommy!"" 5 minutes of ""Mommy?"" Said ""Daddy?"" one time & my wife said, ""You should go check on her""."
"What is meant by 'a pull factor'? A big red sports car."
"Soviet Monopoly ""Go to gulag! Go directly to gulag! Do not pass go, do not collect food stamps and vodkac"
"Did you hear about the girl that went fishing with the three guys? She came back with a red snapper."
"THAT SMILE A reporter asks Bill Clinton,. 'What did you find most attractive concerning Monica Lewinsky?"" He replied, 'She had the prettiest smile I ever came across."""