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Joke of the Day

"All the workers at the nuclear reactor plant left work. They left a sign at the door. What did it say? Sorry! Gone fission."

"That burrito didn't agree with me. And then I was like ""Why am I arguing with a burrito?!"""

"Whats the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? On the porcupine, the pricks are on the outside."

"What do you call somebody who is anti-vaccines? An idiot, just a god damn idiot."

"So I was nailing my girl from behind ... After we were done she turns to me and says. ""my friends tell me you are a pedophile."" To which I reply ""That is an awfully big word for a 10 year old"""

"I don't use pepper spray when I'm being robbed I just open my wallet and blow the dust into their eyes."

"Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the shell station"

"Stephen Harper lost the Canadian election. He was given aboot."

"What do you do to a blind, deaf, dumb girl after raping her? You break her fingers so she can't tell anyone."

"Ramadan Putting the slim back into Muslim"