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Joke of the Day
"This damn button keeps popping off my keyboard... I swear I am about to lose fucking Ctrl."
Next Joke
"I used to do drugs i still do, but i used to to. -Mitch rip the legendary Mitch Hedberg"
"We all know one person who was so much cooler when they were single."
"Why did the woman fire her masseuse? He just rubbed her the wrong way"
"Just saw an advance screening of Age of Ultron. Spoiler alert: he's 47"
"My friend works at a circumcision clinic I asked him if he charges alot for his circumcisions He said ""No, I just keep the tips."""
"I just used ""volumizing"" shampoo for the first time.... Everything sounds the same."
"""You never tell me you love me,"" said my girlfriend. I said, ""That's because you never ask."" She said, ""Do you want me to?"" ""Go for it,"" I replied. She said, ""Do you love me?"" I said, ""No."""
"How many Trump protestors does it take to change a lightbulb? Doesn't matter. Trump protestors won't change anything."
"I've fallen in love with a pencil and we're getting married... I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B."